The Story We Tell Ourselves

I was reading a book recommended by my friend Jen...Feel the Fear ...and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. when I came upon a great section about the power of words. I have reprinted it here for your pleasure but want to make a point about the New Year and the story we tell ourselves. While we may perceive ourselves as mostly positive people, we often slip into bad habits of complaining about the dry cleaner or the boss or our lost opportunities. We repeat negative comments about ourselves - "I was never good at this or that" as a way of making ourselves feel better...but in the end we only do ourselves a disservice by sitting in a place of negativity and living from the space of discontent. By telling ourselves these stories and continuing to live from the place of "I can't" we stifle our own abilities and keep ourselves from growing. The story is yours, and yours alone which means you have the ability to change it. If you don't like where you are, if you dream of a different life, then you only need articulate it and plot a course forward - reminding yourself each day that you are worthy, you are smart, your are capable - and you are... 2015 CHALLENGE: In this new year live a day, a week, a month without complaining, without personal judgements. Instead focus solely on the positive aspects of life, strive to always see the sun instead of the rain - then write to me and tell me how you feel at the end of your experiment. I suspect that by changing the story you tell yourself, you willchange the story outcomes.

Enjoy this excerpt (buy the book if you feel so moved) and have a Happy, POSITIVE 2015.

.....I learned an amazing way to demonstrate the effectiveness of positive versus negative thinking from Jack Canfield, coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and President of Self-Esteem Seminars, which I have used in my workshops. I ask someone to come up and stand facing the rest of the class. After making sure the person has no problems with her (or his) arms, I ask my volunteer to make a fist and extend either arm out to the side. I then tell her to resist, with as much strength as she can muster, as I stand facing her and attempt to push her arm down with my outstretched hand. Not once have I succeeded in pushing her arm down on my initial trial. I then ask her to put her arm down, close her eyes and repeat ten times the negative statement “I am a weak and unworthy person.” I tell her really to get into the feel of that statement. When she has repeated the statement ten times, I ask her to open her eyes and extend her arm again exactly as she had before. I remind her to resist as hard as she can. Immediately, I am able to bring down her arm. It is as though all strength has left her. I wish I could record the expressions on my volunteers’ faces when they find it impossible to resist my pressure. A few have made me do it again. “I wasn’t ready!” is their plea. Lo and behold, the same thing happens on the second try—the arm goes right down with little resistance. They are dumbfounded. I then ask the volunteer once again to close her eyes, and repeat ten times the positive statement “I am a strong and worthy person.” Again I tell her to really get into the feeling of the words. Once again I ask her to extend her arm and resist my pressure. To her amazement (and everyone else’s) I cannot budge the arm. In fact, it is more steadfast than the first time I tried to push it down. If I continue interspersing positive with negative, the same results occur. I can push the arm down after the negative statement, I am not able to push it down after the positive statement. By the way—for you skeptics out there—I tried this experiment when I was unaware of what the volunteer was saying. I left the room, and the class decided whether the statement should be negative or positive. It didn’t matter. Weak words meant a weak arm. Strong words meant a strong arm. This is a stunning demonstration of the power of the words we speak. Positive words make us physically strong; negative words make us physically weak. The amazing aspect of this experiment is that it doesn’t matter if we believe the words or not. The mere uttering of them makes our inner self believe them. It is as though the inner self doesn’t know what is true and what is false. It doesn’t judge. It only reacts to what it is fed. When the words “I am weak” come in, our inner self instructs the rest of us, “He (or she) wants to be weak today.”When the words “I am strong” come in, the instruction to your body is “He wants to be strong today.” What does all this tell you? STOP FEEDING YOURSELF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Negative thoughts take away your power . . . and thus make you more paralyzed from your fear.