Rewrite Your Story
You are what you eat.” – if we extrapolate that thought out, you are what you consume or what consumes you; what you read, what you swallow, what you tolerate; what you choose, and the stories you tell – to yourself, to others, about yourself and about others.
And who is at the center of all this consumption?
That’s right, YOU - you choose what to eat, what to drink, swallow, tolerate, and what to believe. And it is YOU who can change it. In fact, I would argue that you’re the only one who can. The way forward (or through, as I prefer to think of it) always starts with acknowledgement. You can't do anything differently until you can see the consumption for what it is – at its root.
It’s okay –at some point we have all consumed – swallowed our pride and integrity; suppressed our desires; become filled by doubts, regrets, sadness, fear, hunger, anger, or resentment. Whatever you call it, whatever the cause, it is that ‘thing’ that has you spinning, keeps you stalled in a lonely, dark place. I’ve been there, and sometimes find myself there again. To deal with my own spinning, I journal – slowing the storm and putting everything down on paper always helps me make sense of what’s happening around me, grounds me in reality and helps me admit my own secrets and see things more clearly. As a demonstration, here’s an excerpt from my Grief Journey* – the repeated nightmare I experienced when my mother was ill…
I am lost in a thick forest of trees. It’s dark and cold. The trees are all around me, blocking the light, causing dark shadows. They are monsters with giant arms, reaching to grab every part of my body. In the beginning, I am walking, carefully stepping over the tree roots that jut up into my path and I’m pushing the branches out of the way. But the trees grow thicker, the light dimmer and fear takes hold of me. I run faster and faster, trying to find the light, but it eludes me. I trip over broken dead tree branches; my hair gets tangled with dry leaves and spider webs. My face is smeared with tears and sweat and dirt. When I can’t run anymore, I collapse against a large rock, confused and scared. My breathing comes fast…I feel deep, uncontrolled panic.*
Writing down the dream helped me see it. The Acknowledgement provided an opportunity to jump off the merry-go-round of nightly terror, helped me to see that my dash through the thick woods was me running in fear and anger, from loss and regret. In the absence of the noise I could think more clearly, recognize that I had power over my own mind – the dream was mine, I was not my dream. By owning it in this way I could Reframe it from a place of fear and confusion to a story of learning, growth and hope, enabling me to Rewrite my Story. I drafted a new ending – one where I survive, where I learn from my ordeal and emerge whole.
I run as fast as I can. The trees snag my clothes and scratch my arms. My feet move quickly, jumping over roots and piles of leaves and then… they no longer touch the ground. I rise straight up, moving between the trees, untouched. My panic dissipates, my breathing slows and I stare longingly at the emerging sunlight. It warms my chilled skin and renews my confidence. When I look down, I can see the whole forest. The trees are fuzzy green spots creating a thick comforting carpet. There are no monsters, no long arms reaching out to drag me back. My face is clean and my world is bright.*
I literally wrote this new segment to the dream, meditated on it, committed every detail to memory. I transferred this nightly nightmare to a meditative daydream where I created the ending I preferred. With each new encounter, my dash through the woods became shorter and less painful. I was able to see and feel the sadness without being consumed by it.
I’m no psychologist but I know this kind of visualization works. When you engage personal courage and take the time to Acknowledge Your Consumption for what it is, you have the power to Rewrite Your Story. In the coming months my book, *This Too Shall Pass: A Journey through Grief to the Other Side, will be available through Motivational Press as an example and opportunity for others to follow – to acknowledge grief – see it, experience it – then rewrite it to serve their future in a more positive way.
