Choices

The Story Once upon a time there was a little girl who only wanted to please. She was neat and reliable and a little bit sassy. She worked hard to please her parents. They were good people who always had her best interest at heart. She took music lessons, wrote poetry, kept a neat room, went to church. She was encouraged to try new things, explore possibilities yet be realistic, modest and appropriate. She was happy.  When the young woman went away to college she soon found herself in doubt, searching for something she couldn't quite articulate. She took all kinds of classes - business, religious studies, geology, etc. She dated a little, she went to a Bible Study group and she joined a service organization. Her search was disjointed and confusing. She was increasingly frustrated by the conflicting ideas rolling around in her head - so many new ideas, new people, new perspectives. You see, I did not realize it at the time, but I was searching for self, for meaning, for space and for passion. Before too long I settled on a business degree, not because I necessarily enjoyed it, but because I still did not know what to do and had to make a choice. Dad said, "Can't go wrong with a business degree!" so that's what I did.

I met a man along the way who I really liked, but I feared my parents would not be pleased. I had a choice to make. Breaking the mold - from the vision I had of myself and that my parents had of me - was scary but the thought of disappointing my parents was even scarier.

Reality

Well,  I married that man - happily married now for 24 years - and my life has been filled with choices and opportunities that have never fit into the mold I had created in my teen years. If I had stayed committed to that vision I would not be the woman I am today. Sometimes breaking with our past, shifting our focus, changing our minds - is the only way to move forward. Facing fears, letting go of long-held beliefs, leaving behind people we care about, and opening ourselves to what could be is often the only way to find our space. I could have taken the other path - not married my husband and continued to believe I was happy in my envisioned life, but reality would have alluded me. I have no doubt I would have eventually raised my head and shouted, "Why has life dealt me such unhappiness? Why has the world done this to me?" I would have lived a life of a victim, blaming others for my choices.

When you live an unauthentic life, you invite dis-ease into your space. When you live a life inside a system out of sync with your values you create disharmony and dysfunction.

Choices

All choices come with a price. Each path we take will have pros and cons. But the choices are ours - we must own them. Allowing someone else to make choices for us is simply a different kind of choice. It does not change the fact that we made the choice - it was just a choice to follow someone else. It doesn't change the facts, just the consequences and we must live with those. We must own those. WE control our lives. We control our HAPPINESS.

Choose with intention...with knowledge and commitment. If you don't like the outcomes - own it and make a different choice.